Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Randomize
