So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
