What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize