he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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