I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Randomize
