Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
