At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
