he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
