If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Randomize
