Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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