I love black thongs
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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