It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
