No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I am available for nakedness
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
