I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I think people are normalizing furries
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