The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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