You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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