i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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