Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
