remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
she peed on how many people?
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
is it fun? or sober?
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
