why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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