I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
