I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
