I want you more than these girls want KFC
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I think your dad took our porno
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
