I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
