Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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