The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
