marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
