Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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