I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
