Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
People in love make me want to vomit
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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