the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
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