I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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