he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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