She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I did not marry a roomba.
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