What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
The power of my boobs compel you
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize