My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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