Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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