In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
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There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
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Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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