You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
