If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
