When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
