I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
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