the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Randomize
