At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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