I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
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She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
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Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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