Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
