do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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