I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
