Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
