I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
