upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
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