i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
