dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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