He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Randomize
