I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
