okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
