I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
