I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
