I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
