I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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