he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
