But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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