I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I need a beard to bite.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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