She said her name was "party"
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
