so explain again why im purple
no
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
