I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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