With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
